Malleable Despond: The Truth Hides behind the Lies
“Forgiveness has been something difficult to conquer,” Malleable tells himself. He walks in circles with his hands behind his back and he thinks of all the things he wishes to have and no longer sees as the camera watches over him. A close bond with his family, his friends, to grow in affection with a loved one, and to have kids of his own one day but all that dissipates as he doesn’t conform with the corruption around him including the one inside himself. He sees the world as people who are afraid of something that’s not heaven-sent. He sees the world putting faith in the collective whole of humanity rather than the creator. The more he thinks about this the more rage and pain he feels, but he has realized that if he acts upon this he will be just like them. A god. Malleable has been made believe he is many things he’s not and then gets questioned why he’s hard on himself. He was desperate for answers and therefore asked to be defined through other people’s eyes which in return made him believe he had all sorts of disorders that has led him to be hospitalized, imprisoned, being made fun of, being told he’s loved, being told he’s selfish, and his favorite one being a clown. The list goes on and on. Would it make him feel better to blame the world for these things? Yes, without a doubt but the world is a complicated place. Malleable has not been perfect, not even close. He deserved to be in all those situations because his actions demanded for truth by his own will at his own time. He quickly realized that he has no control over these things. In return to undo many of his wrongs, he lost respect for himself and let others stomp on him while they lived their lustful life and he lived his inside his bathroom. “I see their desperation of being in control. You say anything that diverts from their truth and you’ll become their enemy.” But what is their truth? Is it absolute? Does it depend on evolution? Science perhaps? This will all lead to hypocrisy due to the ever changing state of finding new solutions to live by. Malleable has noticed that people will bend the truth when circumstances demand it in part to protect one’s mortality. This goes to say that Malleable has done the same, but his consciousness on the issue has led him to feel extreme amounts of suffering and admittance to these wrongs. Has he been perfect in this regard? No. Malleable is currently living in hell with a torch that is lit with water. Malleable dances around knowing that if he didn’t have God he would be merely a puppet for others to take notes of.
God help us. Through the lies of this world and in myself my faith in your absolute truth rises. Through the betrayal of others including the one I have given myself I see the need for you. I pray you put my ego aside and do your will with me whatever that entails. Let my desires of this world die. For you are all I long for. A perfect sacrifice. Lead me Lord and I will follow, but help me be vigilant and obedient in times of trial. There is nothing above you. Not me, not anybody.
